Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Now it begins. I will use my blog to further the best interests of mankind, solve the most difficult challenges facing modern intellectualism, settle disputes between soveriegn nations, tidy up the unified field theory and chart the course of man through the Age of Aquarius and to the final destination wherein humanity can live a sustained existence in perfect harmony with the universe and Mother Earth until our star attains supernova. Failing the above, I will just thrash about mindlessly spewing my own biased opinions and generally making a nuisance of myself. Maybe there will be some good jokes, too. I dunno, I might even get some sort of a theme going on this sucker and maybe I won't. And if you are reading this, you either know me or you have too much time on your hands and you should find something more useful to do with it.

Everybody wants to be the banjo player. Hey, would that be fun or what? Well, I AM the banjo player, so I know exactly how much fun it is. It is fun. It also took a llloooonnnggg time to learn and that was when I was a kid and had fresh brain cells and enough discretionary time to endlessly practice the rolls and stuff. Message to all you older guys who think it would be cool to play banjo: it is cool but its not gonna happen for you in this life. Buy a classic GTO or something instead and learn how to restore classic cars. It will soak up all your banjo time and more. Message to all you folks out there that want to hear the banjo player play "Dueling Banjos" or "Foggy Mountain Breakdown" or "Man of Constant Sorrow"; please go away. I spent countless hours practicing and striving and hurting and being embarrased or frustrated or whatever. I did not spend all that time and energy learning how to play the most gawd-awful hardest instrument on earth just to validate your movie going experience by rehashing one of those sorry tunes for you. Just listen to what I want to play and enjoy it. Honest, I am using EVERY SINGLE NOTE that is used in those other tunes, just in a different order. On the banjo. In the moment, and just for you. And the others that are listening with you. Think of it as an enhancement to those songs, you know, like a sequel, like "Foggy Mountain Breakdown XXXIV or something. Just please don't ask me (or any banjo player) because we all hate those songs and the people that ask for them. Naturally, I will simply play these songs when asked because I am an entertainer first and an artist second, but I love ranting about it.

I also really dig my banjos. I have a couple of them from the twenties and they are seriously cool. They aren't the ones most sought after because those are flatheads and mine are both archtops. The hard core bluegrassers all want flatheads and they overlook the fact that the flatheads were engineered to be easier and cheaper to make than the archtops. Hey, flatheads happened in the thirties; hello, are we having fun in the great depression? There is a subculture of archtop players that love the archtop sound. Include me in that group. We are the subversive and free thinking arhtop anarchists. We like bright sounding banjos that weigh a lot and are old. I bought both of these beauties over thirty years ago and they are worth a lot more now than they were then. The point is, these are the only material possessions I have that I give a rats butt about. Well, I really like my bicycle too but I learned early on never to fall in love with my bike. No one ever told me not to fall in love with my banjo. I believe a lot of what people tell me. I am kind of like a Labrador Retreiver that way. In fact, I am a lot like a Lab in a lot of ways, but that's another blog. Today I am Banjoboy.


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